How Long Has This Been Going On
by HelenVanPattersonPatton
Summary: He really shouldn't be this interested. Peter's dirty-minded digging around leads to surprising revelations. *Submission to Operation: Tonic Water*


_*** Dedicated to the magnificent, PhunkyBrewster.**_

* * *

"So, Jer," Peter stirs his coffee without looking up, the hangover that's still pulsing around the edges of his eyeballs making him wish the morning beverage was a little more Irish. "Tell me a little bit about the history of the _practice_," he says, putting emphasis on the last word.

"Well, um. Dr. Shulman started the practice in 1991, and had a few different, older partners before this lot came on board. Why do you ask?"

He shuffles to the chair across from Jeremy at the break room table and affects as much nonchalance as possible, which isn't hard. He shouldn't care, or, well maybe he _should_ care about the practice itself, he is a partner after all, even if it is just a junior one. What he legitimately should _not_ care about though is the real reason he's digging. But damn, he just doesn't get it. "You know, I'm a partner and all, being responsible, blah, blah, blah. So when did all you guys come on board?"

"Danny first. He was kind of Dr. Shulman's pet, and when the other partners left it was just the two of them for a while. Then I came abroad and shortly after, Mindy."

"So none of you knew each other before here or anything?"

"Well, somewhat. We all did our residencies at St. Brendan's, which is how we all knew Dr. Shulman. There was a little bit of overlap where we were there together so we were all acquainted."

"Okay, so you guys were already tight when you started working here."

"Hardly. Well no, actually _I_ was friendly with everyone. Those two on the other hand..." He gazes wistfully into the middle distance.

"Dramatic pause. Get on with it. Those two, _what?_"

"Loathed each other, frankly. I'm surprised Dr. Shulman didn't fire one of them over it."

"Seriously? _Mindy and Danny?_ How is that even possible? They are constantly up each other's butts." Peter cringes a little at the term and tries not to go way literal with it.

"Now, sure - there is a fine line between love and hate - but it was a different time then. Freshly out of medical school, the air full of vim and vigor. It can be very polarizing, feeling as powerful as a god."

"You remember that I'm a doctor too, right?" Peter says, Jeremy not even breaking cadence.

"All this while in one's sexual zenith. Impossible for sparks not to fly, eh?"

Peter rubs his hands together and leans forward, elbows on knees. Now he's getting somewhere. In a low tone he asks, "So you're saying there was bumping uglies going on in the office from way back?"

Jeremy shoots him one of those patented, snooty looks like Peter just made a lewd comment about the queen or somebody, before burying a cocky grin into his paper cup of steaming-hot tea. "I wouldn't phrase it _that _way. More like two adults, if in varying degrees of hotness,-"

"I'm not sure I'd say Mindy's that much hotter than him," Peter mutters to himself.

"-fulfilling a natural sexual need. She of course had a very difficult time keeping her feelings at bay. Who could blame her, poor girl."

Peter shakes his head and tries to make sense of this new information. Did everyone else already know about it before? And if they'd been knocking boots years ago then why is it such a big deal now? "Okay. So those two have been making the beast with two backs off and on for years? Why all the messed up sneaking around?"

"We were never really sneaking around per se. We only tried to keep it quiet for proprieties sake. And it's been years since-"

"Wait." Peter's head hurt. "Who are you talking about, man?"

"Mindy and me."

"What the _fu-_". . . You know, he thinks maybe he already knew that. People said a lot of shit to him when he first came here that he may or may not have been listening even a little bit. Whoops. "No. Right. You and Mindy. That's a thing that happened."

"Who were _you_ speaking about?" Jeremy's glaring at him intently with one arched eyebrow. Somewhere Peter imagines Mindy catching his scent; there's blood in the water and she's gonna go full-on Jaws when she finds out he's blown it.

"Seriously, man. You can_not_ say anything. I've got too much planned for the weekend to get murdered right now."

"Murdered by whom? What are you on about?"

Now would probably be a good time to lie and then immediately leave for the rest of the day. "Danny and Mindy are sleeping together."

"_What?_"

"They're doing it. Been doing it. A lot. All over the place. It is _super _gross. GOD, it feels good to finally tell somebody!"

"Okay." Jeremy, jaw clenched, stands and strides almost all the way to the door before Peter flies up to stop him.

"Hang on, hang on, let's talk about this for just a second."

"Peter, you are not the one I need to be discussing this with. Step aside."

If he wasn't so sure he could kick his ass, the way Jeremy is looming over him would be threatening. "Just calm down and let's compare notes before you lose it."

"Alright," he crosses his arms and leans against the counter. "Tell me everything you know."

* * *

Jeremy slips through the door quickly before slamming it in Peter's face. Danny looks back down at his chart, already irritated with whatever shenanigans he's about to be pulled into. "Not now. I'm in the middle of something."

"Do you have something you'd like to tell me?"

"Yeah, I just did. I'm busy." Danny pretends to read what's in front of him, just like he'd been staring at it unseeingly for the last forty-five minutes.

"You're sleeping with Mindy?"

"_What?_" Danny's eyes fly up, blood stinging in his veins as his heart pounds. "No."

"Sorry, man," Peter calls from the other side of the door, his figure darkly distorted through the glass. "Don't tell Mindy I told."

His heart drops and he isn't surprised. This is what happens when people can't keep their noses out of private matters. He tosses his ink pen on the papers and leans back in the chair, hands clasped on the armrests. "I'm not sleeping with her."

"_Danny_," Jeremy sighs, head cocked and staring down the bridge of his nose. "The time for lying about this dirty little secret is over."

"I'm not lying! Look - fine. What Peter told you was true."

"SORRY!"

Danny chucks the nearest thing he can find at the door, the ovary-shaped stress ball with the Pfizer logo on it smacking the glass hard enough to get Peter to walk away.

"Mindy and I . . . had been seeing each other. But it's over now. And it's fine. Nothing for you to worry about."

"It's hardly nothing. It was bad enough when I thought there was something going on with her and Peter. But I expected better of you, Danny. I really did." Jeremy crosses his arms, tutting at him.

"Better?" The man isn't making any sense. Maybe he's dieting again and it's making him crazy. "I don't know why you're expecting anything. And it's not like you're immune to her . . charms."

"My point exactly. Mindy is very charming. And available. It couldn't have been too long after Cliff dumped the poor girl -"

"That's not what happ-"

"- before you're there taking your turn. It's tawdry. As her friend I would have hoped you would treat her with a little more respect."

Two wheels pop off the floor when he bolts up, the chair landing hard and rolling with a crash into the credenza. "What the hell did you just say? My _turn_?!"

"Maybe you and Mindy had the same mutually beneficial deal we had worked out. I'm not judging. But I have to say, I am a little disappointed in you for taking advantage of her like this when she was easy prey."

Danny's fists ball up, and he'd sock Jeremy in the jaw if it didn't feel like the other man just beat him to the punch. "You think I was using her for sex?"

Jeremy scowls at him knowingly and sits on the edge of Danny's desk, bringing them eye to eye. "You needn't be indignant. Peter told me everything. And I understand, you tried to keep everything under wraps so it wouldn't be as bad when you ended it. But I don't want the practice or Mindy to suffer in any way due to your dalliances."

"_Dalliances_? You don't know what the hell you're talking about, man."

"Fine. Your flings, conquests, whatever you want to call it. You know how easily Mindy gets her heart broken. And the accountants say we can't afford to make Heartache Days a real thing."

Danny can't help but picture her; Mindy washed in the soft light of her bedroom lamp, tears tracking silently down her beautiful face. The idea that she may have ever thought any of the things Jeremy's implying about their relationship making his stomach turn. "Yeah, I do know."

"Well then. No more trifling with her?"

"Yeah," Danny shakes his head. "No more messing around."

"Good. I'm glad we understand one another."

"I understand a lot right now." Danny tugs his lab coat off and slips his cell phone into his pocket, stopping briefly in front of Jeremy as he walks around the desk to leave. "Oh, one more thing, and I'm sorry about this," Danny says, shrugging but meaning it. "But Staten Rules apply here, so..."

* * *

The door flies open after only one quick knock and he's greeted with Mindy slapping him furiously on the arms, shoulders, chest; wherever she can reach. After almost a week of her not even making eye contact with him it is not the reception he was expecting.

"Stop." Danny's hands fly up, deflecting her as much as possible. "Min - just. Stop hitting me."

"What the hell, Danny? You told _Jeremy_?!"

"What? How do you know that?"

"I can't believe you told him!" she cries through grit teeth, shoving on his chest with both hands hard enough to make him reel back a half-step. Mindy stomps back into her apartment, leaving the door open for him to follow. "Peter texted me."

"_Of course he did_," Danny mutters, shutting the door softly behind himself.

"He told me _allllll_ about how you were bragging to Jeremy about getting me into bed." She cuts her eyes at him through her lashes. "You two should be bragging. But how very dare you?"

"I didn't do that!"

"You're too ashamed to admit it when we're together, and then you break up with me and decide to start telling people? And you, what?, bonded with Jeremy over scamming on me? That is gross. Even for guys."

"NO! I'm not -" he sighs. This is not going like he planned. "I was never ashamed of you or our relationship. I told you that."

"Oh." Mindy says like she still only halfway believes him.

"And for the record I'm not the one who told Jeremy. Peter did."

Mindy glances down at her phone on the counter, frown pulling at her features. "I did have a hard time believing that you used the phrase 'tapping dat ass.'"

Danny cringes inwardly but shrugs. "I think I could pull that off."

"Please. You barely pulled off 'wanting to hit it,'" she scoffs.

"I do recall hitting it _directly_ after I said that, so..."

She throws her hand out, fingers splayed, acquiescing. "I said barely."

They smile tentatively at each other for a moment before the fissures in her facade start to show again, the smile on Mindy's face twisting before disappearing once the shot of their formerly easy banter wears off. "So why are you here, Danny? If it's not to apologize for telling Jeremy?"

"To tell you I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I was using you. Or like I didn't really want to be with you. I never felt that way."

"I never thought you were using me."

"Good."

"But around the time you were breaking up with me I did get the very strong impression you didn't want to be with me. Guys don't break up with girls they secretly want to be with, remember."

"I know I said that before. But this was different. I didn't mean-"

"I don't want to have this argument again, Danny."

His mouth snaps shut at her clipped tone.

"Was there anything else?" she says, drifting closer to the door. He gets the hint, but there is more.

"I wanted to be the one to tell you and I guess maybe go ahead and apologize for punching Jeremy just now."

"You did _what_?!"

"I hit him. Not hard! . . . Well, kinda hard. I pulled it as much as I could. Sorry."

"Are you crazy? Why would you do that?!"

"He insulted the woman I love! There are _rules_, Mindy. You let one guy get away with saying something about your girl and then it gets around the island and before you know it no one respects you."

"What did you just say?" Mindy's eyes are wide, lips pursed. And she's adorable.

"That there are rules?"

"Not that part."

"Was it the part about respect?" He takes a step closer to her, finding it impossible to keep a smile off his face. She shakes her head. "Hm. What was it then?"

"Danny. Did you just say-"

"I love you? I did. And I do." He takes the final step closer to her and takes her face in his hands. There are tears in her eyes and he wants to see her smiling instead. Wants her to share in the terrifying joy that's pounding in his heart. "I love you and I'm sorry I got scared. How badly did I fuck this up?"

She barks a watery laugh and it's a step in the right direction. "Pretty badly."

"Beyond repair?" It occurs to him for the first time that she might not take him back.

"No, dummy. That's what I was trying to tell you the other night. It doesn't matter how much either of us fuck it up as long as we fix it together."

Danny nods and they've swapped; her tears are in his eyes and she's wearing his smile. He pushes all the air out of his lungs with a nervous laugh, expelling some of the tightness clogging his heart, and swipes his thumbs across her cheeks. "Okay. Let's do that."

"Yeah." Mindy's staring at his mouth and he can tell she's waiting on him to make the next move.

"So we're back together?" he asks hopefully.

"Uh-huh."

"Does that mean I get to tap dat ass?"

"OH MY GOD you are such a dork!" She pulls her face away, grinning. "I should say no on principle."

"You won't though. Come here."

She comes, Mindy smiling into his kiss. God how he's missed her. How can you miss someone so much you see every day?

"Mmm, Danny?" she's mumbling against his lips.

"Hmm?" he replies without breaking contact, pulling her top lip into his mouth.

"Mm mum mu, muu."

"Huh?" He pulls away with a pop.

"I said, I love you too."

* * *

**Author's Note**: Special thanks to Calliope_Soars (on AO3) for making me realize this story was a comedy and not a tragedy.


End file.
